If you haven’t heard of Jack Parow, you’ve been living under a fokken klip, bra!
The man is icy cool in a dodgy afrikaans rapper kind of way and I figured it was time to shed some light on who the man is and give him some well deserved credit for being a machine.
You see, South Africa isn’t America. We don’t just automatically ooze cool without effort. And when we try, more often than not, we look like holy matzah ball dipsticks. But good ol’ Jack Parow, he’s different. Whether rapping in English or Afrikaans, he’s just got it:
“As ek instap skrikkie hele fokken bar
Jy kry nog fokken geld by jou ma
Ek los die hele jol papnat
As jy instap begin die hele jollie pad vat
ek’s Amerika, jys Irak
ek bomb jou lat die kak slap spat
Ek’s ‘n Bic pen, jy’s ‘n Mont Blanc
Jy loop rond met fokken skuim op jou mond-rand
Ek’s original jy’s gecopy
Ek’s ‘n flash drive jy’s ‘n floppy
Jy maak of jy alles het ma jy’s fake
Jack Parow bra ek lewe soos n straatmeit”
As some bird from Huisegenoot put it, “his lyrics are so funny that you want to SMS them to your friends immediately”. These are taken from his 2009 hit “Cooler as ekke” which has over 2.2 million views (click NOW).
But his success has not happened over night though and there are many good reasons why he’s making the grade and growing a hippie following while at it.
BEFORE HE WAS JACK PAROW, HE WAS “ZAN DER TYLER”
Yes, that’s his zef so fresh real name. Born and raised in Parow (Cape Town), Jack studied to be a mechanic but took jobs like packing fish in Cape Town harbour and allocating graves for the Cemetery Division of the Cape Town municipality to support his rap habit. He first started rapping with crews from the Cape Flats and has been at it for over ten years.
It is a little known fact that Parow started Die Antwoord with Ninja and Yo-Landi Visser but he chose to follow his own creative path. Some thought this to be a silly move when Die Antwoord blew up but just a little while later, Parow followed suit and the rest is history.
AND THE NAME?
Jack explains best, “I was watching Pirates of the Caribbean while really drunk and I said: “Fuck Jack Sparrow the pirate of the Caribbean, I’m Jack Parow, pirate of the caravan park.”
AND THE MUSTACHE?
It is often confused for pubes growing out his face but the masses love it. It’s so popular, in fact, that Jack Parow was selected as the ambassador for Movember in Holland in November 2010. You must possess balls the size of church bells to become a Movember ambassador.
And finally, the man is so popular, there is a Garmin GPS available with his voice.
Stop what you’re doing immediately and bow down before the greatness!
CATCH HIM LIVE
Not too long ago, my cousin and I were talking about the awesomeness that is Jack Parow when he decided to try book him to perform at his street party this coming Saturday (21 July) at LIV in Bedfordview. My cousin got hold of Jack, offered him a rand or two as well as a few beers and boom, Jack accepted.
The event is called “LIV in the streets” and I wanna encourage you all to pull in and watch me throw my undies at Jack Parow. If you need any more convincing, just watch this video. It represents all the good that is Jack Parow: